"In a false quarrel there is no true valor", said Shakespeare. Ever look in a mirror and just wish you were looking at something else? Ever wonder why the fuck you have so much going wrong? About three months ago, I met a girl named Lori. I'm a big fuckin' ugly loser so it goes without saying - I met her on the internet. She's not your normal internet girl though - at least the "normal" ones I've met - She's smart, fun and really beautiful. Mother of four - two boys and two girls. I've never met her boys because they live with her asshole ex-husband. Her two girls are the sweetest little girls I've ever met. I loved them instantly. Yes, they do the normal stupid things that little kids do that make you wish they would take a nap but you are thinking "Aw, they are so fuckin' cute" at the same time.

Anyway, Lori's ex-ass-hole was just that - a real fuckin' ass. He treated her worse than a stray dog. She has told me things that I have never even heard of like she couldn’t watch TV or go to the store by herself. I mean I've seen that in Lifetime movies but never in real life. I've been there when he calls her - I can hear him yelling at her. He lives out of state and he won't let her talk to her boys. She is trying to get them back but - well, it's a really long story and I'm not sure of the facts myself but anyway he is an ass and a half.

Apparently she dated this guy before me that treated her the same way. I'm thinking "well, this should go really well for me - she won't know how to act with a real man that let's her be her own person." .....I was so fuckin' wrong. I have never questioned her about who she talks to, where she goes or what she wears. I've never tried to break into her email, snoop around trying to find things or anything. But STILL - just like always - I turn out to be a bad guy.

The blog I wrote before this one - the one about my ex girlfriend - this pissed her off. She was upset because I wanted to be friends with her. Wait - don't judge me yet - she tells me that I don't spend time with her - but - I have been trying to see her for weeks - WEEKS - and she always has an excuse. Even though I have tried week after week to see her and she basically says no - I am not spending enough time with her.

Okay back to my ex-girlfriend - she is upset about this but then tells me she wants a "break" because she is confused and does not know what she wants - but - BUT -  she has met another guy that she has "some" feelings for...... yep, stutter - I did not.

I really like her - I have strong feelings for her but I can't be any cooler of a guy. What does she want? What do any of you want?? Please tell us - we guys have no fuckin' clue. On face value - you would rather have a guy that slaps you around then one that shows you love. I have waited and waited to spend time with her. Every excuse she gave me I took in stride - with character - trusting and believing that next weekend we would be together. Okay, then next weekend. Okay then next.....but enough. I've been nice, I've been polite, I've been patient but enough is enough. I can't stand this!

Why are you women so fuckin' retarded???